Grandma met Papa on a blind date. Not the first one, but the last of many in which she didn’t even originally want to go on. Yet her sisters convinced her, once again. Fifty years later I found myself reciting one of my poems at their 50th Wedding Anniversary. Those were the two people I looked up to. Most of us in the family did.

A few years later Papa battled through chemotherapy and won yet mistakenly was given the wrong medication afterwards and passed away. Grandma was tore up. Everyone was, and things fell a part for awhile. Actually, I’m not sure the things ever got put back together.

One evening my cousin Missy and I were visiting grandma and happened to be the only grandchildren out of eighteen that were there at that time. Grandma was around drinking wine on the patio, as usual, probably talking on the phone and smoking cigarettes. Meanwhile Missy and I were out in the garage messing around with the drum set and fishing poles. The door creaked open and a head peeked in asking what us girls were up to. Well, we weren’t up to much. Probably gossiping about boys and asking each other if grandma was gona be ok. Walking down the steps into the garage came grandma holding a glass of red wine who stepped to the couch, sat down, and patted her hand on the cushion telling us to go and sit down with her. Said she had something to tell us. Something important.

She told us how she met Papa, how she was goin on all these blind dates and that her sisters kept setting her up and eventually she was fed up and tired of it but they had another one all ready for her. Grandma didn’t want to go on it, she refused. But they pushed until Grandma gave in. Well, that brings in Papa. This all happened years ago so I don’t remember word for word what Grandma shared with us, but the important thing was this: She told us that when you know, you know. And when you truly love someone, you’ll know it. And you’ll just know that they’re the one.

love is knowing
revel in each other
for embracing the need
to be together
the need to know
everyday
that you have each other.
the need that sits
in the depth of us all —
a complex fulfillment
yet simple desire
the need to love.
how do we look at someone, and know —
Love.
because love is not spoken
love is coarsely seen
but we know love
you know love
i know love
we won’t let love down

although in love, we may
be let down at times.
but that’s the intruding power
of a beautiful thing
it’s indescribable
immeasurable
incomparable
and it’s known to last

revel in each other
for loving
for knowing
for lasting
— for a long time.