+

water flow

mediocre medicine
a plague
infantil
it’s not what it seems
is what you always told me

watching you lead
is what led me
to confusion

bottles rattled
windows strayed
cats stayed
a mechanism that encountered
true betrayal
a pathetic closure

palms sway and my wishes weigh
remembering my strength
was only the beginning

skin was tight
boilers
my appearance changed
under your demand

sometimes i thought; for the better of me
and i won’t deny it
i’m better now

as shade shines way
and your pictures flicker
in their old place, on the refrigerator

i know it’s holy justice
god has a way
like angels are divine
the number 444 on my mind

i think, you should probably leave

sail into the night
and let the memories flow

+

brisk math

possession or illusion
weapon or a tool

time does it’s magic
bringing wisdom
healing to cuts

must we wait on it
or pretend it doesn’t exist

spring to brisk
conclusions
our hearts
put at risk

limitless
they told us
life

we continue the fight
asking if
we enjoyed it

accounting each moment
to a number
that probably
is too infinite
too fine

and that’s why
you were never
really mine

+

ticking borders

how vicious / pretentious
clock ticking between borders
a war zone
my conscious mind—
abilities to be at peace

our cycles unlike oceans—
they roar like lions on mountaintops
i feel my heartbeat
only time would tell
tick tick
the universe at work
undercover officer of fate
answering the fight of debate

how vicious the suede,
heat still clinging to your arms—
you held me like a performance,
but the universe holds me with truth

at 2:30 a.m. i awake
roll a cigarette
nervous system on high alert
and trust
or work—
relations flowing from
earth
my calling in the hands of the maker
yearning for palms or tall pines
waiting for the knot in my spine
to release

+

already hers

there it was again
a washed-up drought
from the panic of a heartless core—
not a heartless man,
but the foundation within him,
brittle to the bore.

without two bare hands to hold
the woman who poured into,
but also scolded him
for the absence of an opening
to hear her softly,
to brush her hair behind her ears,
and whisper—
“i am here.”

there it was again,
her yearning from years
of tether and pull,
running toward her spirit
with vision, yet blurred eyes.

a power and a strength
she held so close
that she nearly tumbled each time
it wasn’t reciprocated.
oceans roared inside of her—
she drew unseen pain from within,
because He hasn’t provided him.

He hasn’t made that day clear.
and she yearns
for support,
for a deep, tender hug,
for a long release,
and a whisper…
“i am here.”

and there,
between the want of being held
and the echo of being unseen,
she awakes—
tuned to the quiet vibration
that it is already hers.

+

approx. 5:44 a.m.

all of those bags,
are they a way to hold onto my past?
his patience,
it’s made me realize
certain faults.
i’m more aware of today than ever.

i feel seen.
his tenderness is how.
his eyes: a flame crashing between a wave.
the connection glows,
lights me up inside.

where did i meet him?
what were our first words?
i wonder how it is
that he holds the only memory of that moment.
what did he see in me?
what made him think he needed to take care of me?

i hope he will reveal it.

+

but i don’t want anybody but you.
i don’t want anyone else.

and in this moment i realize
that’s exactly what i want—
what i’m yearning for—
summed up in two sentences by ernest hemingway.

and i know that pending call between us
might become a silent dare,
like the last time i tried circling back
to someone who couldn’t decide on me.
while i hoped beneath white sheets, tired,
his choices became clear through my tears.

i yearn for more.

and so the telephone rings—
rring—rring—
silently.

+

snake dust

running miles in my mind
while gin provides a good time
it never was black and white
for that, you were right

tethered to the circumstance
of standing alone—
so I deny the phone
a ring to your throne
reaching for your bones
dead bodies wash ashore
memories of us ‘once before’

photo eclipse—
and the moon shun bright
full moon delight
the last time you were inside

I know I push
away from you
it’s a universal pull
away from danger
the way I’m caged up
next to a man
who measures love in rations
ashes on the shelf
a reckoning woman
creating her own wealth

you wouldn’t understand
what her heart holds
you wouldn’t dare to try
slithered in snake dust
a show buster
ego tripping

(cyclonic
or ironic
how iconic)

now you’re my muse.

I make profit off of you.

+

fragments

swollen heart. ripple tears.
burning bridges. flooding scenes.

secret weapons. behind the scenes.
felt you here. feel you gone.

dare to fly. send a wire.
pick up the phone. burry your ego.

shaking bones. timid and cold.
wrestled hair. stare is stale.

fragments in frames. silly war game.
pretend you care. forget i’m real.

walk of shame. how’s heaven, any blame?
comb my dress. paint my lids.

wish me well. and good riddance.

+

guard down

I’m just looking for a distraction,
But I’m home every day.
The wind is strong,
And it’s too cold to go outside this way.

’Cause my heart is aching
And that wind will take me
Some place that I don’t know.

And everywhere that I go without you
Is just another place
Unlike home.

I’m missing a part of me
That part of me is you.
And I know it must sound weak
To say that I still love you.

There’s something about time…
It makes us see true.
Everything I see now
Has just been doubled
By the absence of you.

And it’s too cold for me to leave
Now that I’m alone.
I need your hand to hold me
And guide me back home.

It’s too windy to be out on the street
Without your guard…
And I wish you’d let it down
And I wish you’d hold me now.

+

time

Permission to live on time-
anyone can hurt us.
Anyone can become a striking line
in a poem,
the reason behind a stroke on canvas-

to push you
to analyze yourself,
to be your best,

or stay in bed all day,
dripping red stains on the sheets
from crystal.

Just enough time,
and you’ll have critics
wondering what it all means.

+

untitled

The cement slithered like sand through my toes
except through my bones.
I became cold,
a brick wall.
So much time passed,
I no longer knew what I held inside,
what I was capable of.
But I still feel.
I still love.
And…
it still hurts.

+

take me home

He’s just as reckless as love lets him be.
He blows in quick with the birds and the bees.

At my feet,
he tells me he loves me.
He tells me I’m his.

So why don’t you take me home?
I’ve got to get going.

Take me—
home with you
if that’s what you want to do,
if it’s true that you love me.

Please be reckless with me, baby.
Mmm.
Drop your guard with me.

I want to see you laugh,
see you cry,
and smile again
because you can’t stay mad.

Take me home with you, babe,
if it’s true that you loooove me.
I’ve got to get going now.

Somehow,
I hope I run into your arms.

Because I’ve got to say, babe,
I like the way you are
so raw with me.
And I love you too.

Take me home with you
if it’s true that you love me.
Take me home.